Quiet Leadership

An experience at a recent networking event got me thinking about the power of quiet leadership.

As most of us were milling around, I saw a woman sitting alone on a couch. I caught her eye, and she smiled at me. I smiled back and sat down next to her. “I knew someone would join me,” she said.

We struck up a very lively conversation that soon drew two more people to join us on the couch. Before long, we were six people deeply engrossed in conversation and sharing perspectives.

It hadn’t started out that way, of course.

It began because someone went first and created an opening.

Sitting alone at a group event is vulnerable, quiet, and easy to miss. It’s a different type of leadership, one with no audience and no visible upside if it fails.

When we think of being the person who goes first, we usually imagine some bold action. Or maybe we think of declaring a decision, a direction, or a stance. Sitting alone doesn’t declare anything—it just opens up a space that invites others to join. It’s lesson about quiet leadership that has stuck with me.

Going first doesn’t always have to be about leading the charge.

Sometimes going first is about creating an opening for someone else to step into. You don’t always have to pull people along; you just need to make it safe for them to approach.

A Challenge for This Week

Think about your own leadership and whether it could benefit from a quiet approach. How are you holding space and making it safe for someone else to come in?