Leaders Set the Tone
How you make someone feel in the first 10 seconds can matter as much as anything you say after.
That’s true whether you’re greeting someone in person, answering the phone, replying to an email, or responding to a quick ping on Teams. In each case, they’re sensing an answer to a simple question: “Am I welcome here?”
Recently, I was shopping with a couple of girlfriends and saw this play out in two stores. In the first store, the owner didn’t acknowledge us at all when we walked in. No eye contact. No hello. She stayed glued to her computer, moving merchandise, doing “real work.”
I browsed. I tried on clothes. She never once spoke to me. Her first words were to my friend at the register.
Then we walked into a store just down the street.
The moment we opened the door, the owner looked up, smiled, and said, “Hi, welcome in!” She didn’t hover or immediately ask what we needed. She simply made it clear we were welcome. When it felt natural, she offered help. When we left (without buying a thing), she thanked us for stopping by.
That’s the store we’ll visit again. The first one? Not likely.
How this relates to leadership
You’re setting that same kind of tone every time someone:
Joins a meeting you’re leading
Walks into your classroom
Pops into your office
Messages you on Teams to ask a quick question
In those moments, people are reading your energy before they hear your words.
When you’re annoyed by the interruption, having a bad day, or dreading the meeting, how you show up can shape the outcome in unintended ways. A deep breath, a quick reset, and a genuine “I’m glad you’re here” can change the entire interaction.
A simple field tool: the 10-second welcome
Before your next interaction, try this:
Pause for one breath before you turn to the person, type, or unmute.
Decide what tone you want to set: curious, energized, supportive, calm, focused.
Signal “You’re welcome here” with small behaviors:
Make eye contact (or look at the camera)
Smile, even slightly (it’ll be heard through your voice)
Give a simple, sincere greeting: “Hi, I’m glad you’re here” / “Good to see you” / “Thanks for reaching out”
It takes less than 10 seconds, but people will feel it.
A question to carry into the week
As a leader, your energy is the “storefront” people walk into every day. Ask yourself: “Am I showing up in a way that sets the welcoming environment I want?” If not, your next interaction is a chance to reset the tone.